Mar 2, 2007 3:28pm
Re: she's got everything delightful...
Ahhhhh, the spouse issue.
Do you know that my loving, patient, beautiful wife refers to me and the rest of us here on the LMA as the "Grateful Dead Gnomes"?
Whenever I tell her i'm posting here she says "Tell the gnomes I said "hi"....then she goes into this high-pitched elf-like mocking voice and skips around going "Grateful Dead, Grateful Dead, Grateful Deeeeeeeaaaaaaaad!!!!"
All in good fun. Fact is, I drove her over the edge w/the Dead and ruined it for her. When we first started dating we did the whole "what do you like to listen to" thing and I sheepishly admitted I was a DeadHead, and she said
"Oh, I really don't know them, but I do like that Touch of Grey song....and I said 'well, I could make you a tape" (very "High Fidelity" of me) and when she said "sure" I went out and made the best girlfriend-friendly newbie Dead tape in human history...lots of stuff from "Reckoning", and since I knew she liked jazz, the "Eyes" from Without a Net featuring Branford on sax...which she LOVED. The tape was a success, and therein lied the planted seeds of my own mistake...it didn't actually start til several years later when we'd been married for 2 years and I discovered--THIS.
The acrhive. The mecca. I mean, I played the Dead more around her after she green lighted the tape--but not like this. All of a sudden, virtually the entire live catalogue was lying at my feet. Replacing old hissy tapes w/SBD quality shows....discovering new shows I didn't know even existed...you know, you know....
Suddenly, every disc played in the car together was another Dead show. ANOTHER version of Eyes, ANOTHER version of Scarlet-Fire. Slowly, but inevitably, she started to go stark raving mad.
Then came the cutting remarks: Shut up, Donna! Jeezus, that woman is so off-key it's insane!!! This isn;'t that dumb "Wheel" song again, is it? (imitation of Jerry wheezing thru a blown lyric...ehhhhhhhh....)...I know it makes her sound cruel (I once turned to her and just said "Mean lady in my car!") but she truly is the most caring, patient, beautiful woman on Earth and I drove her to this state with pure over-abuse of the music.
To be fair, she does understand the factor that this uncovering of literally thousands of Dead shows is akin to finding buried treasure after years of wandering the land as a pauper, but it doesn't make it any easier for her.
And she doesn't have any "rules" about me playing the music. As long as I can put up w/the gnome jokes, she's OK with it.
And the best is when I get her to admit that she's heard something good. i.e.--a few weeks ago I was playing the "Ramble on Rose" from 11-30-80, and when it was done she said "Hmm. Jerry really belted that out good."
I said not a word...Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile!